'...or at least the Activated Beaches'

Dear Minister Edmund B. and Strategist Delano S,

Howdy. How is this?

Jamaica, the land of Bob Marley, Andrew, and jerk chicken, is a veritable titan when it comes to real estate. With a staggering four thousand, two hundred and forty-four square miles (4,244 square miles) of landmass, it dwarfs the puny Canadian provinces like Newfoundland and Labrador, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick combined. In fact, Jamaica could easily swallow up these Canadian provinces whole, with room left over for a few all-inclusive resorts.

Canada, on the other hand, is a mere speck in comparison, with a land area of three million, eight hundred and fifty-five thousand, one hundred square miles (3,855,100 square miles). That's right, three million, eight hundred and fifty-five thousand, one hundred square miles! It's a land so vast and empty that you could fit the entire island of Jamaica into it thousands of times over and still have plenty of room for moose, bears, and the occasional Canadian.

So, it's only logical that Jamaica, with its vast expanse of territory, should be the first choice for testing out those fancy new Small Modular Reactors (SMRs). After all, why bother with the vast, empty landscapes of Canada when you can have the thrill of nuclear energy nestled amongst the bustling streets of Ochie, Falmouth, Dunn's River and Montego Bay?

Imagine the possibilities! A compact nuclear power plant, powering the entire island, while tourists sip on their cocktails, blissfully unaware of the humming reactor just a few miles away. It's a win-win! Jamaica gets "clean" energy, and tourists get a unique "nuclear experience" to add to their vacation brochure.

Of course, there might be a few minor details to iron out, like ensuring the reactor doesn't melt down and irradiate the entire Caribbean, but let's not let pesky details like that dampen our enthusiasm for this brilliant idea. After all, when you've got a country as big and bold as Jamaica, the sky's the limit, or at least the activated beaches and tropical fruit.

Your old prayer partner, 

Dennis A. Minott

October 29, 2024